Monday, February 23, 2009
♥ Arranged marriages
Arranged marriages
In our western world, the start of the perfect marriage is quite simple; boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl get married. This is a different case for people in countries such as India and Pakistan, where they rely on their parents to find the ‘perfect’ husband or wife. An arranged marriage (Also known as prearranged and pragmatic marriages) is a marriage in which neither the bride nor groom has any official say in the selection of their future spouse, but they give their full consent to it anyway.
A video of arranged marriages in India :
The match could be made by the parents, matchmaking agents, or matrimonial/dating websites, whilst priests/religious leaders, family friends and relatives play a major role in the matchmaking process. Religion, reputation, wealth, profession, height, language, medical conditions, horoscopes, and dietary preferences are some factors that are taken into account whilst matchmaking. For most Indian and Nepalese Hindus, arranged marriages between people in the same caste (social class) are extremely important. In some cultures the last duty of a parent is to marry off their child, and it’s considered to be a failure on the parent’s part if their child’s wedding isn’t arranged. The main purpose for the wedding is for a family to be made. In some modern arranged marriages the child has a reality show like trial where the son/daughter picks their favourite prospective spouse, and the parents will either approve, or disagree with their child’s choice.
Jewish people use a form of arranged marriage called ‘The Shidduch’, when single Jewish people are openly introduced to one another in Orthodox Jewish communities, for the result of marriage. This kind of arranged marriage is really open, and there isn’t too much pressue. Many people go for it to get a partner without too much hassle. Pait Likkhi, meaning ‘written on stomach’, is a custom in the tribal regions of Pakistan where two families agree to marry off their children before they’re born or when they’re really young, but the marriage, arranged by village elders, takes place in their late teens. Most of the women marry at 18-16 years old, and the men at 18-25. The Urdo custom Addo Baddo is extremely similar to Pait Likkhi. A Shim-pua marriage was a traditional form of arranged marriages in China, but fell out of practice during the 70’s due to an increase of wealth. A Shim-pua marriage occurred when a poor family with way too many kids would sell their daughter to a rich family, where she would act as both slave and adopted daughter (until old enough to marry a male in the family) in return of the poorer family being married into the richer one. These marriages weren’t very successful, mostly because of the lack of sexual attraction between the husband and wife. The meaning of Shim-pua is "little daughter-in-law”.
There are many debates worldwide about arranged marriages, and I think they’re very interesting. My thoughts are probably biased, seeing as I’ve been raised in the western world, and girls in other countries probably have nothing against arranged marriages and think it’s normal because they’ve been raised to appreciate it. Some thoughts for arranged marriages are that ; parents can be involved in modern arranged marriages, arranged marriages are often more stable seeing as matchmaking finds someone more compatible (50% of marriages in the U.S end in divorce), people feel that marriages based on romance are doomed to failure because of unreasonable expectations in each other. Parents can be trusted for making choices in the ‘best interest’ of their child, and won’t be misguided by hormones and emotions. Going for an arranged marriage also makes marrying someone less hassle, and brings wealth. Some thoughts against arranged marriages are that they’re a violation to human rights, you can get with somebody you don’t particularly get on with or abuses you, love marriages are more effective for promoting wealth and social growth, and there could be identity fraud.
In our western world, the start of the perfect marriage is quite simple; boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl get married. This is a different case for people in countries such as India and Pakistan, where they rely on their parents to find the ‘perfect’ husband or wife. An arranged marriage (Also known as prearranged and pragmatic marriages) is a marriage in which neither the bride nor groom has any official say in the selection of their future spouse, but they give their full consent to it anyway.
A video of arranged marriages in India :
The match could be made by the parents, matchmaking agents, or matrimonial/dating websites, whilst priests/religious leaders, family friends and relatives play a major role in the matchmaking process. Religion, reputation, wealth, profession, height, language, medical conditions, horoscopes, and dietary preferences are some factors that are taken into account whilst matchmaking. For most Indian and Nepalese Hindus, arranged marriages between people in the same caste (social class) are extremely important. In some cultures the last duty of a parent is to marry off their child, and it’s considered to be a failure on the parent’s part if their child’s wedding isn’t arranged. The main purpose for the wedding is for a family to be made. In some modern arranged marriages the child has a reality show like trial where the son/daughter picks their favourite prospective spouse, and the parents will either approve, or disagree with their child’s choice.
There are different kinds of arranged marriages, such as; an introduction marriage, child marriage, forced marriage, and shotgun weddings. It is still common in North America, South America, India, Iran, and Japan to have an “introduction” only arranged marriage. This is when the parents may only introduce their son/daughter to several prospective spouses, giving them some sort of option. A forced marriage is when no input is given from the child, and their thoughts or views aren’t taken into account. If the child refuses, or even just complains they are punished by having their inheritance cut off, or even death. Child marriages are when parents marry off their children and infants, but usually keep them until after puberty. This type of marriage usually takes place because of social and economic reasons. Parents have to provide dowries for their daughters when marrying them off.
In East Africa absunas are common. This is when parents arrange marriages between cousins. If an unmarried woman gets pregnant a shotgun wedding usually occurs. This kind of wedding gets its name from the fact that if the man refused to marry the woman, her father would put a shotgun to his head until he agreed. If the woman doesn’t get married then she’ll be a big disgrace to her family, and bring them shame for numerous reasons. First of all, the baby would be a bastard. Second of all, it would be hard for the woman to find a man who’d marry her if she’s not a virgin. So marrying the man that got her pregnant would just put her out of her misery and shame, and save her families reputation. This is basically a forced marriage, seeing as neither of them intended to end up marrying each other.
A video on Hadism in America:
Jewish people use a form of arranged marriage called ‘The Shidduch’, when single Jewish people are openly introduced to one another in Orthodox Jewish communities, for the result of marriage. This kind of arranged marriage is really open, and there isn’t too much pressue. Many people go for it to get a partner without too much hassle. Pait Likkhi, meaning ‘written on stomach’, is a custom in the tribal regions of Pakistan where two families agree to marry off their children before they’re born or when they’re really young, but the marriage, arranged by village elders, takes place in their late teens. Most of the women marry at 18-16 years old, and the men at 18-25. The Urdo custom Addo Baddo is extremely similar to Pait Likkhi. A Shim-pua marriage was a traditional form of arranged marriages in China, but fell out of practice during the 70’s due to an increase of wealth. A Shim-pua marriage occurred when a poor family with way too many kids would sell their daughter to a rich family, where she would act as both slave and adopted daughter (until old enough to marry a male in the family) in return of the poorer family being married into the richer one. These marriages weren’t very successful, mostly because of the lack of sexual attraction between the husband and wife. The meaning of Shim-pua is "little daughter-in-law”.
There are many debates worldwide about arranged marriages, and I think they’re very interesting. My thoughts are probably biased, seeing as I’ve been raised in the western world, and girls in other countries probably have nothing against arranged marriages and think it’s normal because they’ve been raised to appreciate it. Some thoughts for arranged marriages are that ; parents can be involved in modern arranged marriages, arranged marriages are often more stable seeing as matchmaking finds someone more compatible (50% of marriages in the U.S end in divorce), people feel that marriages based on romance are doomed to failure because of unreasonable expectations in each other. Parents can be trusted for making choices in the ‘best interest’ of their child, and won’t be misguided by hormones and emotions. Going for an arranged marriage also makes marrying someone less hassle, and brings wealth. Some thoughts against arranged marriages are that they’re a violation to human rights, you can get with somebody you don’t particularly get on with or abuses you, love marriages are more effective for promoting wealth and social growth, and there could be identity fraud.
Personally I think that people should find love in each other their own way, without having people pressurizing you into anything, and that once you’ve found love you should start thinking of getting married, but everything at a steady pace. I think the whole concept of an arranged marriage is interesting, but I’d hate to be stuck with a stranger for the rest of my life, especially if I wasn’t treated right.
Bibliography :
12:25 PM
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
♥ Shabanu Anticipation guide
1) It's possible to experience love at first sight. I don't think that it's possible to experience love at first sight, but i think you could work towards the love after. You would probably see someone that you think is 'cute' and maybe think of it as love at first sight, but it's not. People shouldn't judge others, as they may be be total jerks, or just rude. I'd think it'd be pure coincidence if someone were to think they experienced love at first sight, and then actually found it, and married that person. I honestly think love should be worked on, and isn't found instantly. 2)Two complete strangers stuck on a deserted island could learn to love one another. Two complete strangers COULD learn to love one another. This could only happen if they put in the needed time (They have that, they're stuck on an island..) and commitment that makes a healthy relationship. I'm sure after getting to know one another, they'll find things in common, and start to click. The island'll bring them together. But on the other hand, the relationship can go totally wrong. You'd probably get sick of someone after spending time on an island with them. 3) It is a good thing to sacrifice your happiness for the desires of others. To a certain point, yes. You shouldn't kill yourself or anything too drastic for anyone, especially if they didn't deserve it, or wouldn't do the same for you. Even if it was over something small, like the last cupcake. You should give it to the person who needs it more, but not to the person who's already scoffed 5 of them. If it was something life changing, such as a scholarship, or who in your family gets the brighter future then you should give it up if they're nice to you, and if you don't particularly need it, whilst they do. 4) Women in your society are free citizens. Compared to other societies then yes, but I suppose there is un-obvious domestic violence going on silently. To most of the women here in Cyprus, I think that the biggest violation to their rights is driving their kid to the cinema on a saturday night, and doing the washing. Compared to women in other societies, they have it real good here. Women in less fortunate countries practically live to serve their families, whilst here they are so much more independant. |
10:31 AM
♥ Shabanu Anticipation guide
1) It's possible to experience love at first sight. I don't think that it's possible to experience love at first sight, but i think you could work towards the love after. You would probably see someone that you think is 'cute' and maybe think of it as love at first sight, but it's not. People shouldn't judge others, as they may be be total jerks, or just rude. I'd think it'd be pure coincidence if someone were to think they experienced love at first sight, and then actually found it, and married that person. I honestly think love should be worked on, and isn't found instantly. 2)Two complete strangers stuck on a deserted island could learn to love one another. Two complete strangers COULD learn to love one another. This could only happen if they put in the needed time (They have that, they're stuck on an island..) and commitment that makes a healthy relationship. I'm sure after getting to know one another, they'll find things in common, and start to click. The island'll bring them together. But on the other hand, the relationship can go totally wrong. You'd probably get sick of someone after spending time on an island with them. 3) It is a good thing to sacrifice your happiness for the desires of others. To a certain point, yes. You shouldn't kill yourself or anything too drastic for anyone, especially if they didn't deserve it, or wouldn't do the same for you. Even if it was over something small, like the last cupcake. You should give it to the person who needs it more, but not to the person who's already scoffed 5 of them. If it was something life changing, such as a scholarship, or who in your family gets the brighter future then you should give it up if they're nice to you, and if you don't particularly need it, whilst they do. 4) Women in your society are free citizens. Compared to other societies then yes, but I suppose there is un-obvious domestic violence going on silently. To most of the women here in Cyprus, I think that the biggest violation to their rights is driving their kid to the cinema on a saturday night, and doing the washing. Compared to women in other societies, they have it real good here. Women in less fortunate countries practically live to serve their families, whilst here they are so much more independant. |
10:31 AM
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
♥ The Outsiders Film and Novel Critique.
7:50 AM
